How to worry constructively
About 39% of the things you worry about never actually come to pass. An additional 32% of the things you worry about have already happened. A further 21% of your worries are over insignificant trivialities. That leaves 9% for important matters where you have legitimate cause of concern.
If you stopped worrying completely, you would be of little value to yourself, your employer or your family. A certain amount of worry and tension makes you feel better, so keep on worrying. Concentrate in that 9% and put the other 91% behind you.
Keep a worry notebook:
A worry notebook will help you to worry constructively.
Take a notebook and divide it into 4 sections:
A. Things which might happen:
1. Worries for today, i.e things which might possible happen.
2. Worries for today, i.e things which have already happen.
B. Today’s real Events:
3. Worries for today, i.e minor insignificant things
4. Worries for today, i.e important problems.
Make the entries for heading 1,2, and 3 before you go to bed. Choose the time of the day yo are at your strongest and brightest to complete section 4.
Section 4 merits special comment. Worrying about a problem does not solve it, but doing something about it certainly does. Many people are fearful of making a decision in case it is the wrong one. However, what people forget is that making no decision is decision-making by default. After all, if you take no action, something will still happen and only you can decide whether you want to be in control (as much as possible), or just let the situation happen.
When you are feeling anxious, angry or tense it can be useful to do some relaxation exercises. There are many forms of relaxation, ranging from those that require physical exertion or movement, to those that require nothing more that breathing or visualization techniques. Listed below are five common techniques.
a) Breathing: (7-11 Technique)
- Breathe in through your nose for a count of 7
- Breathe out through your nose for a count of 11
- As you breathe out, consciously relax your shoulders
When you breathe in and out, use your stomach muscles to control your breathing. For example, when breathing in, use your stomach muscle to push in. This way you will breathe out use your stomach muscle to push in. This way you will breath more deeply, which will help you gain the maximum benefit from this kind of relaxation.
When people are anxious, they tend to breathe shallowly. When this happens, the body gets less oxygen and many people are therefore tempted to breathe faster to make up for this deficit. However, breathing too fast can make a person feel dizzy or faint may be frightening. This type of breathing can lead to a condition called Hyperventilation.
Keep practicing the above until you feel confident that you would be able to undertake this breathing exercise anywhere and at any time. It is simple but effective and can take the edge off feelings of nervousness. It is particularly helpful for times when you are about to face difficult situation, or a confrontation.
b) Muscle tensing exercise:
- Lie on the floor and make yourself comfortable.
- Starting with your feet, tense all your muscle and then relax them. Focus on how heavy your feet feel and the way in which they are sinking into the floor.
- Tense all the muscle In your legs as hard as you possibly can, then relax them. Focus on how heavy your legs feel and the way in which they are sinking into the floor.
- Move up along through the other parts of your body – hips, stomach, chest, arms, neck and face – tensing and relaxing the muscles as you go.
Note : If you suffer from high blood pressure or heart problems, you should consult your doctor before engaging in this exercise.
- Choose a safe place to sit or lie down.
- Imagine you are in a garden at the time of the year you like best, enjoying looking at flowers, shrubs, trees and so on.
- You notice a wall along one side of the garden. In the middle of the wall is an old-fashioned wooden door with a wrought iron handle on it.
- You make you way over to the door and open it.
- On the other side, you find yourself in your own, very special safe place. A place that no-one knows about and where no-one can get you.
- Enjoy being there.
- When you are ready, make your way back to the door.
- Leave and shut the door firmly behind you, knowing that your special safe is always there, whenever you choose to visit it.
- Walk around the garden and, when you are ready, open your eyes.
Anchoring is a simple technique whereby you associate positive, calming, confident feelings to a particular object, usually something you wear frequently. All that is required is that in moments of anxiety you touch the chosen object and then focus on the feelings associated with it.
- Choose an object – say, a ring
- Now, close your eyes and focus on the same aspect of your life that brings a warm glow to your face. This could be a person, place, or an activity which makes you feel good about yourself
- Rub the ring as you reflect on that happy thought and continue doing it for five or more minutes.
- Wait for a few minutes and then repeat the process.
- In carrying out this simple routine, you will have anchored positive feelings to your chosen object. From now on merely touching that object should bring on good feelings instantly.
Another method of reducing the frequency and severity of anxiety is distraction. When anxious, we tend to focus on physical sensation on thoughts connected to anxiety. Distraction works because our attention is focused away from the thoughts or physical sensations that contribute to our anxiety
Psychotherapy is an interpersonal intervention used by trained professionals. Psychotherapy may be performed by Professionals with a number of different qualifications, including psychologist, marriage and family therapists, licensed clinical social workers, counselors, psychiatric nurses and psychiatrists.
People often consider psychotherapy when they:
- Feel overwhelmed
- Sense of sadness and helplessness
- When its hard to function from day to day
- Their reactions are harmful to themselves or others.
- They drink too much and become overly aggressive
- Finding it emotional difficult to face family members or close friends.
There is convincing evidence that most people who have 6 – 8 sessions of psychotherapy are far more better off than untreated individuals with emotional difficulties.
Psychotherapy with children is similar in effectiveness to psychotherapy with adults.
After your first session your therapist should be able to tell you more or less how many sessions you would need and what is the interventions and treatment plan for therapy.
It is very normal to feel anxious and uncomfortable going for your first session of therapy.
Some people avoid new situations and meeting new people.
It is extremely important to feel comfortable with the therapist that you choose.
Trust and building rapport in the first session will also depend on the success of the psychotherapy.
Choose a Therapist that you feel comfortable with and with whom you can work with.
Therapists are all different and have different styles, so there will be someone out there for you.
It is advisable to research and call more than one therapist in your area.
When exploring two or more Therapists it is important to gather information on their Qualifications and working style.
Trust your instincts when choosing the Therapist.
- Medical Aid fees / Private fees
- Consulting hours
- How many sessions will you need?
- How often do you need to attend your sessions?